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Honoring our needs makes it easier on others

I just lived through a mini-example of that.

 I’m in the Detroit airport on my way to the Life Purpose Spiritual Summit and just had a wonderful 15-minute head and shoulder massage.

 As the therapist was skillfully working away, I felt the urge to talk not because I wanted to (I enjoyed the silence), but because part of me feels it’s rude not to, wanting to treat him as a social acquaintance rather than a hired hand.

 Well, I really needed the silence so I stayed quiet. Truth is, he was probably relieved from having to chat up the umpteenth client of the day. And in the end, I was more attentive to my muscles’ reaction which led to a more successful outcome.

Small inconsequential example that reminded me of all those other more important times when I chose to attend to the needs of others (or rather, my perception of those needs) rather than my own.

Yes, sometimes that is most appropriate but only if that’s a conscious choice coming from an empowered place.

The right middle ground is not easy to achieve for anyone and certainly not for me since, according to Hand Analysis, I am in the school of service, which means I love to be of service yet need to learn to serve myself first.

• How often have you stayed too long at work to help someone when you really needed to get away?

• Do you find yourself doing the giving too much and then withdrawing all-of-a-sudden dance, leaving everyone totally confused?

• Animals and children flourish in consistency; they need to be able to predict what requests are acceptable to you and spot the signs that your boundaries are being tested. I’d bet that your prospects and clients feel the same way. Other than as an intended introductory special, have you ever confused them by giving so much time, content, or concessions that you couldn’t keep it up and changed the rules on them? You might have been further ahead in building goodwill if you hadn’t given so much from the beginning.

When you and I know what we want and make conscious choices accordingly, people don’t have to second guess us and that leads to a much more relaxed energy all the way around.

Pretty good massage huh?

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