Don’t you resonate? I sure do; even though I’m really good at helping other people with their business, I’m in the same boat; I would love to “just do my coaching and not have to worry about selling and money.” That’s one of the things I loved about the Star Trek series way back when; they never had to worry about money! People did their work and went on with their lives .

This is a big issue for most of us and one that can’t be resolved in one article, post or conversation, but I’d like to make 5 suggestions:

• To very loosely paraphrase Buddhism, we can lessen our suffering through acceptance and detachment.

  Accepting that being in business in our society means having to sell and trade money.
  Accepting that everyone has money issues and that we will be on the receiving end of some of “their stuff” and detaching from the sting of what that feels like.

  Yes I know, easier said then done but when I remember to remember this, I’m able to take more action and feel less stress.

• One common mistake most of us make is that we are self-focused, and that’s the case even for giving practitioners or coaches who want to make a difference in the world.

  You see, we love our processes: they are fascinating, soul-enhancing, health-inducing. So we talk about them and hope to convey to others the power of our tools.

  Since other people aren’t interested in our tools, they tune us out especially if we use specialized lingo (which doesn’t sound specialized to us since we live it every day). I’m not only referring to health terms here, but also to coach-ese, new age-ese, or spiritual-ese.

  Instead, we should relate to them in their language, talking about their problems. Now that’s a conversation that would be interesting to them and to top it off, it naturally flows into how we can help. Doesn’t that feel better than a sales pitch?

• Remembering that people want a solution to their problems also allows you to feel more welcome and more confident. Doesn’t it feel better to think that you are reaching out to lessen people’s burden, than to think that you’re selling something to them?
• The dark side of being caring is forgetting that it is their decision whether to move forward with anything including our services. Now you might think that this sentence doesn’t apply to you but let me ask you; why do you take it so personally if they reject your offer? Yes I know, it’s darn frustrating when your work isn’t being valued and you need to eat and pay your bills.  Fact is, most people won’t be able or willing to hire us, which means we have to keep reaching out to many more people to find the ones who just happen to be ready to act.
• Reaching out with our message is one thing, quoting a price is another. Now that rattles our money and self-worth issues! I’m not an expert on that topic (well, I am an expert in the discomfort of it but not the solution ). I have come across a few people who do a very good job on this issue. One program that is coming up (and repeats every so often if you’re reading this post later on) is called “Transformational Fee Setting”. Isn’t that title intriguing?

  
  

  Intriguing enough that I’ve signed up; I can always use help in operating on a higher ground when it comes to money, as long as what they recommend is  practical in today’s world. I’d recommend you explore for yourself if this suits your needs by going to the transformational fee setting program page.

-         Security

-         Power (ambition, achievement, self-confidence)

-         Enjoyment (of experiences)

-         Altruism

-         Or freedom of choice

Very few of us want money for money’s sake, but for what it can allow in our lives. Yet many of us seem to have lost sight of our ultimate goal; we live as if money itself was the object of our desire.

For example, do you know anyone who wants money for the freedom of choice, yet works so hard at her business that she rarely has time to get away?

Or someone who says that his family is the most important part of his life, yet he rarely sees them because of his career?

Now, constant life balance is rarely possible. We all have deadlines and special circumstances that require our extra attention at the office for a while. But what if that becomes the norm?

If our families never see much of us…and we don’t really see an end in sight to that rhythm, how can we say that they are the most important thing to us? The truth is, they were at some point, but no longer; they have been displaced by other more pressing motives.

We might not have intended for that to happen, but it’s the truth. If you are one of those people, be brutally honest: how much is the drive at work to be a good provider, and how much is for other reasons (self esteem, the adrenaline of winning, fear of losing out, etc.)

If our business was supposed to give us freedom but has gobbled up all of our time and energy with no end in sight, when do we think we are going to be able to enjoy that freedom?

What we do with our lives is up to us, and if a person wants to concentrate most of her time on her career, that’s totally her choice. Let’s make sure it truly is a choice and not a runaway life.