Don’t you resonate? I sure do; even though I’m really good at helping other people with their business, I’m in the same boat; I would love to “just do my coaching and not have to worry about selling and money.” That’s one of the things I loved about the Star Trek series way back when; they never had to worry about money! People did their work and went on with their lives .

This is a big issue for most of us and one that can’t be resolved in one article, post or conversation, but I’d like to make 5 suggestions:

• To very loosely paraphrase Buddhism, we can lessen our suffering through acceptance and detachment.

  Accepting that being in business in our society means having to sell and trade money.
  Accepting that everyone has money issues and that we will be on the receiving end of some of “their stuff” and detaching from the sting of what that feels like.

  Yes I know, easier said then done but when I remember to remember this, I’m able to take more action and feel less stress.

• One common mistake most of us make is that we are self-focused, and that’s the case even for giving practitioners or coaches who want to make a difference in the world.

  You see, we love our processes: they are fascinating, soul-enhancing, health-inducing. So we talk about them and hope to convey to others the power of our tools.

  Since other people aren’t interested in our tools, they tune us out especially if we use specialized lingo (which doesn’t sound specialized to us since we live it every day). I’m not only referring to health terms here, but also to coach-ese, new age-ese, or spiritual-ese.

  Instead, we should relate to them in their language, talking about their problems. Now that’s a conversation that would be interesting to them and to top it off, it naturally flows into how we can help. Doesn’t that feel better than a sales pitch?

• Remembering that people want a solution to their problems also allows you to feel more welcome and more confident. Doesn’t it feel better to think that you are reaching out to lessen people’s burden, than to think that you’re selling something to them?
• The dark side of being caring is forgetting that it is their decision whether to move forward with anything including our services. Now you might think that this sentence doesn’t apply to you but let me ask you; why do you take it so personally if they reject your offer? Yes I know, it’s darn frustrating when your work isn’t being valued and you need to eat and pay your bills.  Fact is, most people won’t be able or willing to hire us, which means we have to keep reaching out to many more people to find the ones who just happen to be ready to act.
• Reaching out with our message is one thing, quoting a price is another. Now that rattles our money and self-worth issues! I’m not an expert on that topic (well, I am an expert in the discomfort of it but not the solution ). I have come across a few people who do a very good job on this issue. One program that is coming up (and repeats every so often if you’re reading this post later on) is called “Transformational Fee Setting”. Isn’t that title intriguing?

  
  

  Intriguing enough that I’ve signed up; I can always use help in operating on a higher ground when it comes to money, as long as what they recommend is  practical in today’s world. I’d recommend you explore for yourself if this suits your needs by going to the transformational fee setting program page.

She had never looked the topic of “sensitive people in business” before but as an introvert, she had a lot of experience to share. (The majority of sensitive people are introverts, though not all introverts are sensitive).

Being online running her own business was a perfect solution for her as it allowed her the independence she craved, time flexibility and shielded her from having to deal with people face-to-face.

When I asked her about the bane of most introverted business owners’  life, marketing, she explained that social media had changed everything for her because she’s most comfortable with the written word and was able to connect with people freely through her blog posts and tweets. It works so well with her that many people that know her through social media may not realize that she’s quite an introvert.

That strategy works so well for her it even removed her discomfort about going to live events. You know how it is when you go to an event and feel nervous about meeting new people, whether you’ll feel out of place of included, etc. Well Denise solved the problem by tweeting ahead of time: “Who’s going to be at XYZ event?” and gets comfortable with some fellow attendees in advance. No concerns about not knowing anyone; brilliant!

The full interview is 30 minutes long and you can find it at: http://instantteleseminar.com/?eventid=9895629

• In this economy, fewer people are willing to invest in personal development
• People want a quick fix
• There are too many coaches
• It takes a lot of educating for people to “get” what coaching can do

I’m sure you can add a few more to the list, but that’s a good representation of what coaches (consultants and holistic practitioners) list as reasons for not getting enough clients.

I’ve called them “apparent” reasons in the blog title; does that mean that they’re not true?

Actually, it would be hard to dispute them.

But just because those statements are true doesn’t mean that they’re the real cause of a coach’s lack of success.

There are 7 “real” reasons for that, and I’ll describe them in the next 2 or 3 posts.

“To help with the unboarding, we have requested a set of stairs aft of the plane so rows 10 on can use it”.

I’m sure his language was a bit better, but I’m jet-lagged.

No one used the back exit, not one person, even though everyone was anxious to get off.

That’s because, hardly anyone knew what “aft” meant. It’s a term familiar to pilots and sailors, but not to the average person.

I even heard a few people grumble that they didn’t know what he just said. So the pilot’s attempt to make things easier for the airline’s customers was all for naught.

What language do you use that might be obvious to you but not to others?

Using it not only leaves the people you are trying to reach in the dark, it irritates them and they start turning you off.

Take a look at your marketing material with fresh eyes and run it by someone outside of your field just to be sure.

Observe your conversations more closely over the next few days.

It will be well worth your time.

Some also worry that they might run out of ideas in that “restricted” subject area, or that they’ll get bored.

And others rebel at having boundaries on their creativity.

If that sounds like you, here’s an excerpt from an article in Success Magazine about Quincy Jones. Reflecting on his training with his music composition tutor, Nadia Boulanger, Quincy said:

“When I was with Nadia, she taught me—I had a hard time getting my head around it. She’d say, ‘The more you restrict yourself, musically, the more freedom you have,’ ” Jones says.

This applies to us entrepreneurs as well, since what we do is creative. When we restrict ourselves to a niche, we have more freedom.

Just think about it; when you know who your audience is, you can come up with great products that solve their problem. You know the focus of your blog posts, your articles and your marketing. You know where to look for joint venture partners.

And since people can understand much better what you are offering, you attract more clients and partners more easily and therefore greater success.

Having more opportunities, you are definitely not bored.

Got you convinced yet?

But you see, contrary to many writers on the subject, I don’t think people resist the idea of concentrating on a niche as much as they find it really difficult to pick one.

So I’m planning to come up with a 4-week course on the subject. If you want to know more about it, make sure you gave me your name and e-mail (in the box at the top right corner of the page), and I’ll keep you posted.

And you’re welcome to comment on the blog below or send me an e-mail at helene “at” WhereBusinessMeetsSpirit.com (Replace the “at” with @; I’m trying to avoid spam robots from picking up my e-mail address).

I saw my cat panic all of a sudden and looked to see what triggered him. Running through the trees in the back yard was a flash of golden fur; a dog that was going full tilt.

So I made sure both cats were in and didn’t think much of it. A dog running through is not unusual since I live in an area that doesn’t allow fences in order to keep the look and feel of the native woods.

A few minutes later I went on the side deck to start the barbecue, and the dog was standing at the bottom of the deck looking bewildered.

We talked with him in a soft voice to communicate with him but his growl prevented us from trying to approach him to check his name tag; then he took off again like a rocket.

Very likely he had escaped the care of some vacationers in the area and was scared not only because he was away from his family, but also because he was disoriented in foreign territory.

I am still worried about him and would have loved to help him…but couldn’t. He was too aggressive in his fear and kept away from him the very people that could have saved him.

Now you and I may not growl at people when we’re worried about our future or can’t get our bearings, but we may still be keeping people away from us because we constrict our energy and emit the scent of fear.

After all, haven’t you always heard that dogs can “smell” fear in someone? We humans have the same capacity, but we might not be as conscious of it; we just know that we want to stay away from someone without knowing why.

So my furry marketing lesson this time is: Actively observe whether I’m being affected by fear and deal with it even if I think it’s minor. Otherwise I might keep people away from me, including clients.

Contrary to dogs, they are fed continuously, meaning that their bowls are filled with food for them to nibble on as they wish.

Yet both of them (especially Prouch) will come and look for me and ask me to follow them to their bowl. Then they look up expectantly until I reach for the food bin and scoop out a bit of extra food. They still do that if the food in the bowl is still fresh and plentiful. And they are happy even if I only pretend to scoop out food but come up empty.

What they really are after is the gesture of being taken care of. (I realize that if you’re not an animal lover, this could be a stretch for you but see if you agree with the marketing analogy anyway.)

Isn’t that what everyone wants; to be on the receiving end of some sign that someone cares about us?

That’s true in our personal lives but also in our businesses. Wouldn’t you rather deal with a salesperson that cares about serving you well than one who may be competent, but somewhat indifferent?

It’s a pretty universally accepted idea, illustrated by the saying: “Nobody cares what you know until they know you care.”

So you and I would be wise to remember it in our daily actions as well as when we plan what we want to do in our businesses.

Because if our clients don’t think we care about them, everything else we do, from fancy marketing campaigns to intricately packaged offerings, will fall on much less receptive ears.

She had been to a number of other events in the past and hadn’t made the impact she had hoped, so she was finding herself a little anxious about it this time.

I’m happy to say that she had people lined up to talk with her and left the event with quite a few possibilities and likely clients.

What did she do different?

Actually, her main change was in her intention. She quite consciously rejected the needy “I must get clients from this” thoughts and instead walked in the conference room every day with the goal: “How can I serve?”

Having that mindset, she provided some expert advice to someone, no strings attached. He later raved about her in front of the entire audience, which started the stampede of interested parties.

Knowing her, I’m sure she had provided her advice to other people at past events but this time, her energy was different because she consciously set her intent to give rather than get.

I’ve talked about the power of intent in a previous post and I’m sure it will come up again. It’s the essential first step in marketing, which makes sense when you consider that humans connect through an exchange of energy.

One of those lessons was around an issue that many of us soft-sell service providers find difficult: pricing.

If you tend to worry whether your prospects will be willing or able to pay for your services, you might want to read the following story.

I was speaking to a wonderful woman, who wanted to buy a $450 service, but was holding back wondering if any payment terms were offered as she was cash-flow challenged. When I connected with her the next day, she had signed up for a coaching program that cost many many times the $450.

What happened to her feeling that she couldn’t afford it?

It got wiped away by the belief that the coaching program would fill her deepest need, which was building a profitable business that suited her personality and her spirit. (Yes, it sounds like what I do but it wasn’t my program.)

The presenter was able to touch her mind and her deeper emotions and to earn her trust. She was willing to risk a large amount of money to follow a mentor that she felt would help her achieve her dream.

It’s one of those cases where a limited-scope service (which she could more readily afford) wasn’t going to change things dramatically enough to overcome her barriers, but an expensive program won her over because she could taste/feel/see/sense her new life.

Now…how about reviewing what you offer (and the sales copy explaining it) to see if you could give to people a better sense of the transformation they’ll get from working with you?

That’s certainly something I’m going to do.

That whole saga was a great illustration of the following marketing lessons:

1. Be persistent

Pounce has finally stopped bringing in chipmunk after days of finding his territory barred. It took consistency on my part, but we got there.

When he wanted to go downstairs, Pounce had to ask for me to open the door which I did if he wasn’t smuggling in an unwilling cargo. If I was busy and didn’t respond to him right away, he kept asking until I showed up.

He had the right balance of persistence: not too strident to cause a backlash, not too soft to be ignored. And it worked.

2. Don’t take things personally or mind read; try things and see what impact they have

Have you ever tried to get mad at a cat to intimidate it into compliance? Good luck! He won’t connect your punishment with his behavior so he won’t learn anything. The only result is that he won’t trust you as much which means you have even less influence on him.

What works is a clear indication of what you want and repetition. I shut the basement door and only opened it if he was chipmunk-less.

On his side, he sat and stared at the door and meowed politely until I showed up to open the door. If that didn’t get my attention, he came to get me and walked back to the door. And he didn’t give up until I complied.

No drama about being ignored, just clear, polite, consistent action.