Even those of us who know better and have a humanitarian and/or spiritual inclination fail to act up to our ideals. For example, we might:

• Hold back some information from a team member because we want to retain a competitive edge
• Rarely refer clients to colleagues being afraid of losing them for ever
• Automatically gear ourselves for an adversarial interaction in upcoming negotiations

Some people might even find these examples to be a necessary part of protecting yourself in business, but fact is, they add up to a feeling of being in a hostile environment.

Sure we need to avoid being unduly naive and we need to look after our own interest. Wouldn’t it feel better if we came from a place of  “innocent until proven guilty” ; of cooperation rather than competition; of wanting to make the pie bigger for everyone?

We are much more likely to operate in that mindset if we feel competent, capable and confident.

It would also help if we remembered the bigger picture of life; that we are here to achieve more personal mastery, rather than accumulate more stuff.

And when it comes to needs, you can’t get more basic than wanting to feel safe, loved, and valued. That’s what we feel like when we get genuine respect.

So you would think that extending respect to prospects and clients would be a standard marketing practice! Let me ask you; do you usually feel respected by businesses?

Too often, we feel manipulation or indifference. And something else more recently: a sense of being rushed, as if the business owner’s overwhelm gets energetically transmitted to us.

The good news is that, as solo entrepreneurs, we have a golden opportunity to shine. All we need to do is adopt extending genuine respect as one of our core values.

It’s quite a simple marketing practice; there is no need for an elaborate plan about how to best convey the sense of respect. We all intuitively know when we do it and when we receive it.

Just make sure it’s genuine, or it will backfire; we all hate to feel manipulated!

1. Their authority respected
2. To be recognized for work well-done
3. To feel a sense of belonging
4. Clarity about what’s expected of them

We want all of these, but one will usually be our main motivator which of course can change based on the circumstances. For example, an authoritarian boss wants to feel he belongs with his hockey buddies.

I don’t disagree with this theory, but I was thinking that underneath it all is the basic need to feel valued and respected:

1. Valued enough for our leadership to be acknowledged,
2. Valued enough for people to recognize our accomplishments,
3. Valued enough to be included in their groups,
4. Valued enough for them to take the time to explain themselves clearly.

Being valued is a combination of our two most fundamental needs: love and safety. After all, if I value something or someone, I have positive feelings towards them and will want to “keep them around”.

Acknowledging the basic human need for being valued gives us the key to creating goodwill. It’s really quite simple; show respect and people will respond. It softens the most difficult of situations.

So why don’t we show our respect more? In my opinion, there two main reasons:

1. We fear we will lose some of our power
2. We are just too busy to take the time

The first one has some merit; don’t we see animals deferring to the “alpha” of their group and by showing respect, aren’t we displaying our “beta” status?

What changes things is our ability to think and more importantly, to choose. An internally strong and powerful person isn’t afraid of being the “beta”. She doesn’t doubt her value which gives her the freedom to choose to extend respect to others.

Mutual respect, in turn, allows cooperation and an end to destructive interactions.

The second reason for not showing respect is a by-product of fast-paced living, but one that we must change for our own good. Ironically, the fact that we are so rushed is now forcing us to deliberately practice more awareness for our physical, emotional and mental well-being.

If we let our attention just snowball down the hill of frenzy and overwhelm, we lose our health, our relationships and our quality of life. So for our own sake, we have to stop, notice, and choose how we act.

And you know, showing respect is such an easy thing to do; we all know instinctively how since we know how to do the opposite.

True enough; but there are similarities in the corporate world. For example, what if you got transferred to a division that has been the star performer for years; don’t you think you’d be affected by that success even if you didn’t personally contribute to it?

Managers in those circumstances feel the pressure of having to keep up the same rate of performance or be branded as the ones who broke the winning record.

What if you found that the high performance was attained at the expense of long term financial health and/or practices detrimental to the environment or employees’ well being? What if these practices could continue for a few years yet before things start unraveling, giving you enough time to get a big promotion?

You’d have important decisions to make, decisions that would impact you personally, and all caused by other people’s success.