Your work should be profitable and meaningful; you should succeed by being yourself; and doing so shouldn’t feel lonely and hard. That’s what I’m here to help you do.
Hello there. My name is Helene Desruisseaux (”Desrusso”), and I’m a bridge between business and spirit. By spirit, I mean both Your spirit, who you really are, and Spirit, your source of inspiration and strength, whatever that is for you.
My work helps you:
- Make sure your work is compatible with your true nature; your life purpose, your unique strengths and your blind spots; your values and your loves; your pet peeves and your deepest wishes. Why? Because then you have a much higher chance of succeeding financially, and of liking your life.
- Get in touch with your deep guidance and source of strength. Why? Because you have a much easier time knowing what to do and much more confidence doing it
- Create a work environment that is genuine and respectful
- De-program past failures and beliefs that get in the way of succeeding now
- Translate your yearnings to “make a difference” into profitable business practices
- Bring quality and meaning to a hard-driving professional life
How to tell if you would benefit from working with me:
- The easiest way is to join me on my free teleseminars, where you can ask any question you’d like and/or listen to the recordings. Sign up in the top right corner and you will get all the information you need to access them.
- You can also read a free report from my “Dealing with fear” page, which gives you novel ideas and techniques you can use right away.
- Scroll down this page and read my posts. I welcome your comments by the way.
- Just ask me; feel free to send me an e-mail at the address shown at the bottom of this page
What do you really want from your business?
Since you’re reading a site that talks about business and spirit, your business purpose likely involves expressing yourself, making a difference in some way, and conducting business in a way that’s consistent with your values.
And, of course you want it to make money. Let’s drill down a bit on that: how much?
Actually scratch that question because anyone interested in business and personal growth has been to a seminar or read books that say that you should feel worthy, aim high, feel everything is possible, and quote a big number.
So let me re-phrase the question: Would you be happier if:
- you earned a lot of money and put a lot of energy in your business, or
- you earned just enough to give you security and a bit of freedom, and had a lot more free time.
Yes, this is the old “work hard” paradigm which isn’t necessarily true. You could work like the devil and still go bankrupt, or do really well on a surprisingly few hours of work a week. And I haven’t even addressed the Law of Attraction and Science of Getting Rich concepts.
I just thought it would be a useful starting point to uncover your current true feelings instead of the belief you know you “should” have if you’re an evolved person.
So, if you were condemned to live in a magic kingdom where the old work-hard paradigm could not be broken, what kind of life would you want?
Some people love what they do so much that it’s no sacrifice to put in tons of hours and energy into their work. Others backed into entrepreneurship because they felt unemployable or couldn’t find a work environment that suited them so they decided to create their own. What’s your truth?
Make sure you let your real answer bubble up. After all, no one will hear it, and how can you start making decisions about your business if you don’t start from your deepest truth?
Why get help making decisions when you know what you want to do?
I was reflecting this morning about how clients who came to me to sort out their life’s direction often knew all along what they wanted to do.
Sure, we needed to do some tweaking and planning, but their desires were pointing them in the right direction.
So why did they feel the need for my input?
- For some of them, their desires meant a fairly radical life change and they knew that it was unwise to proceed without getting an opinion outside of their usual circles from a person that could objectively advise both on business and personal issues
- Others, interestingly enough, just didn’t know that they knew what they wanted to do. Until they were asked the right kinds of questions that is. Then it all came spurting out ready to be shaped into a workable plan.
- Still some others had an inkling that their proposed direction was right for them but needed to bounce it off a competent third party and especially needed help in sorting out the implications of their choices, as well as in making a plan (is there a theme forming here
?)
As I said in a recent post about using human mirrors to help with decision-making, our thoughts seem to become concrete only when they are externalized. Writing helps because of the alchemy that happens when thought energy turns into written words. Brainstorming with another human being brings another level of transformation to our ideas.
Given the impact that life direction decisions have on our finances, our time, our energy and our life, it’s amazing that we would even consider making them on our own or with the help of just our immediate circle of friends and family.
If you don’t want to or feel you can’t afford the services of a coach or advisor, find other ways to get a new perspective such as:
- Brainstorming with mastermind group buddies
- Reading books and doing exercises that come from a different angle than you’ve previously tried
- Listening to free or low-cost teleseminars on the topic and joining their group programs.
Whatever you do, make sure you’re not being penny-wise and pound foolish. You know how costly it would be to choose an unwise direction. That’s one of the reasons why you might have been stuck in the first place.
Putting Up a Good Front Isn’t So Good After All
When I was in the corporate world, putting up a good front was seen as a necessary part of the job.
Putting on your suit and your panty hose felt like putting on armor. I remember a colleague actually describing it in those terms so it’s not just poetic license.
Both men and women felt they had to leave their true personalities and opinions at home in order to succeed.
The problem is they spent so much time and energy at work that many of them couldn’t find their true selves when they came home and ended up feeling disconnected. Life became flat outside of work where adrenaline ran high.
Why am I reminiscing about the bad old days?
Because once in a while, it’s important to observe what we do to make sure we don’t fall in the most common traps.
Most of us became entrepreneurs because we wanted to be ourselves and do our own thing. But are we really?
Entrepreneurs also feel the need to put up a good front, and we are often more isolated than we were when we could brainstorm with our peers or debrief with our staff.
So periodically ask yourself:
- Is my business allowing me to be myself?
- Can I turn to at least one trusted source of advice that’s competent and without bias?
- Do I like who I am at work?
- Am I in touch with who I am outside of work?
- Do I like my life?
Yes, challenging times can create a more demanding work life, but that doesn’t mean life has to be joyless.
When you think of it, those times make it more essential than ever that life be about more than just making money.
If you don’t know where to start, consider working with a coach that understands both business and personal issues.
I’m one of them if you like what you see here.
Unable to make a decision? Find a human mirror
A friend of mine was recently going round and round in her head about what course of action to take. She was quite aware of the logical options and of their pluses and minuses so doing additional research wasn’t going to help. Neither did the old trick of listing the pros and cons on a sheet of paper.
She tried “feeling into” each possibility, imagining herself in each situation to sense which one felt better. That didn’t work either.
I’m sure you remember how uncomfortable that kind of uncertainty is. Sometimes, you end up making any decision just to relieve the tension and that doesn’t always turn out to be a good idea (though granted, it can be better than making no decision).
Anyway, while we were having lunch she talked her options…and knew within minutes exactly what she wanted to do. And, by the way, it turned out fabulously well.
So what happened that made it all so easy?
- There was complete trust in the relationship, which means she was free to be her true self while wasting none of her energy subconsciously protecting her image.
- Vocalizing her options helped clarify them even further.
- It also externalized her energy and got her out of the vicious mental cycle that she was in.
- By telling me about her options, she was better able to place herself in an observer’s role which gave her another perspective.
- I was able to reflect to her what I observed: which option left her more energized, which clouded her voice or facial expressions, which one left her looking powerful and free rather than restricted.
Notice I haven’t even yet touched on the fact that I asked insightful questions (a natural talent further honed through life experience and my training as a Life Coach) and summarized the logical impact of her options (ditto). Or that I have an unusual intuitive ability to hear the unsaid and uncover her true desire, which she then recognizes with relief (”Of course, why didn’t I see that all along?”)
Even if the people in your life aren’t highly intuitive life coaches, you will still really benefit from asking one of them to be your living mirror as they witness your decision-making process. I’ve listed 5 reasons why that is so, but the best proof is in the pudding.
Try it next time and you’ll be amazed.
Marketing through being rather than doing
One of my colleagues also attended Baeth Davis’s Life Purpose Summit last week and like most people attending live events, she wanted to make some connections that would benefit her business.
She had been to a number of other events in the past and hadn’t made the impact she had hoped, so she was finding herself a little anxious about it this time.
I’m happy to say that she had people lined up to talk with her and left the event with quite a few possibilities and likely clients.
What did she do different?
Actually, her main change was in her intention. She quite consciously rejected the needy “I must get clients from this” thoughts and instead walked in the conference room every day with the goal: “How can I serve?”
Having that mindset, she provided some expert advice to someone, no strings attached. He later raved about her in front of the entire audience, which started the stampede of interested parties.
Knowing her, I’m sure she had provided her advice to other people at past events but this time, her energy was different because she consciously set her intent to give rather than get.
I’ve talked about the power of intent in a previous post and I’m sure it will come up again. It’s the essential first step in marketing, which makes sense when you consider that humans connect through an exchange of energy.
Are prospects really unable or unwilling to pay?
I just came back from Baeth Davis’s Life Purpose Spiritual Summit, where I had a ball with other spirit-minded entrepreneurs and learned a lot.
One of those lessons was around an issue that many of us soft-sell service providers find difficult: pricing.
If you tend to worry whether your prospects will be willing or able to pay for your services, you might want to read the following story.
I was speaking to a wonderful woman, who wanted to buy a $450 service, but was holding back wondering if any payment terms were offered as she was cash-flow challenged. When I connected with her the next day, she had signed up for a coaching program that cost many many times the $450.
What happened to her feeling that she couldn’t afford it?
It got wiped away by the belief that the coaching program would fill her deepest need, which was building a profitable business that suited her personality and her spirit. (Yes, it sounds like what I do but it wasn’t my program.)
The presenter was able to touch her mind and her deeper emotions and to earn her trust. She was willing to risk a large amount of money to follow a mentor that she felt would help her achieve her dream.
It’s one of those cases where a limited-scope service (which she could more readily afford) wasn’t going to change things dramatically enough to overcome her barriers, but an expensive program won her over because she could taste/feel/see/sense her new life.
Now…how about reviewing what you offer (and the sales copy explaining it) to see if you could give to people a better sense of the transformation they’ll get from working with you?
That’s certainly something I’m going to do.
Being of Service Has a Dark Side
Are you the sweetheart that friends can always count on?
Do you give 100% and more to your clients?
Then you should be rich in goodwill, a very valuable asset. (Not that you were being helpful and giving for that reason of course),
What if I told you that you might have created some problems as a result of all this giving? Here are a few examples:
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The friendships start feeling less free and easy and neither you nor your friends understand why. But fact is, the relationship has been thrown off balance because of the one-sided giving, It’s like having a one-sided conversation; sooner or later it runs out of steam.
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You start consciously or subconsciously resenting that you receive so much less than you give. Especially if you ask for help one day and no one is willing or able to provide it. So you might flip-flop to a withdrawn, what’s-in-it-for-me position which confuses people and distances them even more.
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Your clients get used to a level of service that’s unsustainable and start taking it for granted. Not only that, as soon as you adjust your offerings to be more in line with reasonable profitability, you create “badwill”.
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More specifically in the internet world everyone gives free content. Spiritual entrepreneurs are especially comfortable with that practice as they want to contribute and help their community. Eventually of course, a business must make sales to survive. But often the spiritual entrepreneur’s list has gotten used to receiving exclusively free content and resents any marketing copy.
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You got so good at scanning for and filling everyone’s needs that you have lost touch with your own. That leaves you feeling disconnected and eventually somewhat fake.
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You’re just plain tired.
So what’s the answer?
Balance and awareness.
Observe your giving and receiving balance and change it if it’s off.. Some of us may need to re-learn how to receive.
Observe your feelings when you give. Are you doing because you really want to, or out of need for acceptance? Intent changes things.
Not only that, but if you don’t really want to be of service, you’ll end up resenting both you and them.
Remember your purpose, your needs and goals when you are considering giving of yourself. If you don’t serve yourself, not only will you create resentment, you won’t have anything left for others anyway.
Honoring our needs makes it easier on others
I just lived through a mini-example of that.
I’m in the Detroit airport on my way to the Life Purpose Spiritual Summit and just had a wonderful 15-minute head and shoulder massage.
As the therapist was skillfully working away, I felt the urge to talk not because I wanted to (I enjoyed the silence), but because part of me feels it’s rude not to, wanting to treat him as a social acquaintance rather than a hired hand.
Well, I really needed the silence so I stayed quiet. Truth is, he was probably relieved from having to chat up the umpteenth client of the day. And in the end, I was more attentive to my muscles’ reaction which led to a more successful outcome.
Small inconsequential example that reminded me of all those other more important times when I chose to attend to the needs of others (or rather, my perception of those needs) rather than my own.
Yes, sometimes that is most appropriate but only if that’s a conscious choice coming from an empowered place.
The right middle ground is not easy to achieve for anyone and certainly not for me since, according to Hand Analysis, I am in the school of service, which means I love to be of service yet need to learn to serve myself first.
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How often have you stayed too long at work to help someone when you really needed to get away?
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Do you find yourself doing the giving too much and then withdrawing all-of-a-sudden dance, leaving everyone totally confused?
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Animals and children flourish in consistency; they need to be able to predict what requests are acceptable to you and spot the signs that your boundaries are being tested. I’d bet that your prospects and clients feel the same way. Other than as an intended introductory special, have you ever confused them by giving so much time, content, or concessions that you couldn’t keep it up and changed the rules on them? You might have been further ahead in building goodwill if you hadn’t given so much from the beginning.
When you and I know what we want and make conscious choices accordingly, people don’t have to second guess us and that leads to a much more relaxed energy all the way around.
Pretty good massage huh?
Marketing lessons from my cat
I have been keeping the basement door closed because Pounce de Leon has been highly successful at catching chipmunks (despite a bell on his collar) and bringing them down to his territory to play. Thankfully, I have rescued most of the little critters (which makes Pounce cry as he bemoans the loss of his “playmate”, huh, prey).
That whole saga was a great illustration of the following marketing lessons:
- Be persistent
- Don’t take things personally or mind read; try things and see what impact they have
Pounce has finally stopped bringing in chipmunk after days of finding his territory barred. It took consistency on my part, but we got there.
When he wanted to go downstairs, Pounce had to ask for me to open the door which I did if he wasn’t smuggling in an unwilling cargo. If I was busy and didn’t respond to him right away, he kept asking until I showed up.
He had the right balance of persistence: not too strident to cause a backlash, not too soft to be ignored. And it worked.
Have you ever tried to get mad at a cat to intimidate it into compliance? Good luck! He won’t connect your punishment with his behavior so he won’t learn anything. The only result is that he won’t trust you as much which means you have even less influence on him.
What works is a clear indication of what you want and repetition. I shut the basement door and only opened it if he was chipmunk-less.
On his side, he sat and stared at the door and meowed politely until I showed up to open the door. If that didn’t get my attention, he came to get me and walked back to the door. And he didn’t give up until I complied.
No drama about being ignored, just clear, polite, consistent action.
The most effective sales tactic; the truth!
I bought one of those mini laptops yesterday and once I got home (an hour away), found out there was a problem with the software.
Since I want to use it on my upcoming trip to Las Vegas (to the Life Purpose Spiritual Summit) and am pretty booked up from tomorrow until I leave Tuesday, I decided to go back to the store and deal with it today.
I called the salesmen first and he assured me they were able to look after it and that it would take two hours. Not great for productivity, I thought, but there a few other things I needed to do in town (I live in the country), so I can live with it.
It ended up being fixed, but it took over four hours. The tech guy was puzzled as to why I would think it could be done in two.
Why indeed! Another instance of a sales person saying what is soothing to the customer and having no compunction about stretching the truth somewhat.
It’s often done; I have a friend who’s been in sales her entire life and is an honest, spiritual person, yet she sees nothing wrong in fudging the details as long as most of it is accurate.
The problem is that there is judgment involved in deciding whether “most of it” is accurate and I obviously had a different opinion than the salesman did today. Had I known the truth, I would have arranged things differently instead of losing two to three extra hours of productive time.
Not only that, I changed my opinion of him. Initially I thought he was helpful, knowledgeable and I didn’t blame him for the software bug. I was a satisfied client planning to go back to see him for further purchases but not now.
How will I know whether he’ll tell me the truth or a convenient story next time? How do I know whether I can live with his “truth line in the sand”?
Hey, none of us are perfect and I haven’t lived up to my ideal either, but today was an illustration of how taking the easy road in the short run isn’t worth it.
I’m sure the salesman has no idea how many sales dollars he just lost today.